Oh, so, so much to tell!
I’m in love!
Really and truly! For the first time EVER!
It’s quite a long story, and it involves the introduction of a brand new character: *Orlando* (taken from As You Like It by Shakespeare).
*Orlando* and I have known eachother vaguely for a few years I suppose, but our story begins in late April, about three weeks ago. I had just returned from a two week trip to France and England with my singing group (A long series of stories that have missed their chance to feature in this blog, so let us move on) and I was staying with darling *Jane* for two or three days, since my mama was still out of the country. Anyway, she regularly goes to this place that is a hangout for most of her friends. It’s called The Cee Tee (long story) and she goes there on weekends and one day in the week when it’s open. Anyway, I got back the Friday night, utterly shattered because of jet lag, and also having not slept much for two weeks (too much having fun lol). So I stayed at her house, and the Saturday night, we went to Cee Tee. Now, previous to that night, I did not like The Cee Tee. I usually got bored, it wasn’t my group of friends, and I don’t know… it just wasn’t my thing. There was a counselor there (which is basically just a chaperone) named *Falstaff* who was a friend of my parents who I’d done theater with who was a good friend of mine and good fun to hang out with, but I still just didn’t have much to keep me there, nor did I see *Jane’s* attraction to it. Tonight, however, something was different. *Orlando* is a chaperone there. He’s 21 (I’m 17), so it isn’t the age difference that is worrying, it’s his position of authority. Anyway, we went in, and immediately the dynamic was different. I’d always been very attracted to him, but not with much invested in it: I knew he was older and had a girlfriend, he was just nice to look at. But tonight, I was very, very attracted to him! And it wasn’t just that. Suddenly there was a vibe – he was attracted to me, too, I could tell! And we talked naturally, and it was delightful! Inwardly, I scolded myself for allowing myself to like someone unattainable, but it was still so juicy and thrilling, that the next three nights, I let things develop.
No, no, no, nothing hanky panky, you dirty minded fules! I just mean that I was natural around him. I allowed myself to flirt gently and look at him a little longer than usual, until by three days later, I had developed a significant crush.
There are quite a few things that were extremely unusual about this.
First: I flirted. Normally, when I’m around a guy I really want to go out with, I freeze up! I get cynical, and make too many sarcastic jokes (probably in a subconscious effort to seem cool), and I just can’t relax around them! This happens specifically around guys my own age, which is why I’m not exactly a catch in my school. However, and I’ve noticed this specifically over the past year or so, with college guys, or guys I know I’m probably never going to see again, I’m natural, flirty, and very attractive. And it works! I don’t know why I’ve never tapped into this before. But anyway, there was something about *Orlando* that made me relax, and just be myself around!
Secondly: He liked ME! Ok, I don’t want to sound like the type of person who is taken in by flattery, because I am not, but this wasn’t just wishful thinking: there were definate signs! He was very friendly specifically toward me, and just little things, like the way he said things. It’s hard to explain. But there is this look, that even now, when he looks at me I melt, because he looks at me that’s like electric AND soft at the same time… it’s delicious. Anyway, That second night I was hanging out with him and some other people, we all had a debate about dating with age gaps (how appropriate). By the end, only *Orlando* and myself were fighting for the theory that maturity matters more than age. In the course of this very long group conversation, I learned from him that 1.) he liked tall women, and 2.) he might sub at school the next week.
SCREECH TO A HALT.
I tried to frantically block that from my mind and pretend it wouldn’t happen. As if the dynamic with him as a chaperone wasn’t bad enough, the last thing I needed was him to be a teacher.
Well, the rest is a very long story that I’m sure you don’t want to read all at once, so I’ll leave you with this cliffhanger, and promise you that since then, it’s gotten even more delicious, and much MUCH more complicated!