Pieces Of Rainbow

June 13, 2008 -- A CHARACTER UPDATE!

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 14:51:21 +0200

hiii readers! (if there are any out there lol) I figured it was high time for a character update!
Just to reiterate, these aren't actually characters, they are real people in my life. But I've given them names of famous literary stigma as pseydonyms. Have fun!

ROSE. That's me! I'm interested in the performing arts, and I adore Jane Austen! She is my muse, which is why most of these people's pseudonyms come from her books. Some will have to come from others because of character likeness and my fondness of some other books but mainly they will derive from the masterful Miss Austen's incredible creations. I wish I could call myself Miss Elizabeth Bennett, but I'm nowhere near wise or well-tempered as her. I'm much more like Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. All the wit and joyfulness, but less of the sense. Or perhaps Miss Mabel from An Ideal Husband. It should also be said I'm an actress and I'm planning on making this passion into a successful career. LONG LIVE THEATER! Anyway, you will get to know me well enough by reading my entries, so on with the next person!

*ORLANDO* sigh. My most recent One Tru Luv. Except this time it really WAS love. I can't explain it, read the *Star Cross'd Lovers* entry for details.

*CHARLOTTE LUCAS* used to be my best friend ever. From the day we met in first grade to middle school! Then we started to grow up, and we drifted apart (she liked fashion, I liked music, which is funny because now we've switched places-- she's the indie-serious one and I'm the girly one!) but were still friends. Then in high school, it all came back together again. Now we're great friends!

*MR. DARCY* my ex-one-tru-luv. What can I say about him? He's a comedian and an athlete, and very confident and well liked. Think brown eyes. Think... Italian looking, sort of. Unfortunately, he's not like Mr. Darcy at all, he's ... well kind of a jerk really, and very pompous. And yet likeable!

*LUCY STEELE* the evil two-faced bitch. Now, if any of you have read Sense and Sensibility or seen the film, you know what I'm talking about. If you havent, I highly reccomend it. This name suits her so well. She's a manipulative control-freak queen bee, with a boyfriend who is WAY too good for her. In the many many years of knowing her, we've all been scortched by her. Think Regina George. The more she decides she's against a perfectly innocent person, the more that person strives to please her. Not me! I've had quite enough of her. What she does is she'll all of a sudden decide top be best friends with someone. Now someone with experience with her would know to immediately get away from her, but most people, when they get that spotlight attention on them, think, "Oh, it must be different with me!" it's not. Just when it seems like it might work out, she all of a sudden decides they're her enemy, and rounds up people to all turn against that person! When it finally seems like the person sees through her at last, she turns back around and befriends them! Insufferable woman!

*EDWARD FERRARS* the aforementioned TOO GOOD boyfriend. They've broken up now (thank GOD) but he never once apologized for some of the mean things he said to me in that hot tranny mess of an argument when he was still believing that I was the bad one who had wronged his girlfriend: a pitiable fabrication.

*JANE BENNETT* hmm. Before, she was described as my 'very best friend'. Now, though, I don't know. Well she's definately not my best friend anymore, but friend at all? Still in the fog. Read the blog to judge for yourself.

*KITTY BENNETT* kitty kitty kitty. We've drifted apart as well. The thing about her is, she mean's well, but she's really hard to be around. She lies. Oh brother does she lie! She makes up people, she changes history, she says she's been out of town partying when I know for a fact she worked all weekend. She does it for attention and to try and seem cool, but it's still hard to be friends with a person you can't take seriously, who you never know if what she says is true.

*MARY CRAWFORD* Ohhh GOD I love *Mary*!! She is a really cool friend who always knows if you're upset and always rushes to be there for you. My only qualm with *Mary* is that, if you read the first WHO IS WHO entry, I detail a failed relationship. She's STILL not gotten over it and it's been SEVEN MONTHS. I know I should be sympathetic, and I am, don't get me wrong, but I worry about her! She's making herself miserable by hanging on to the idea of him, and it's unhealthy. She already has anxiety problems, she doesn't need self-induced torment on top of that!

*LYDIA BENNETT* I wish I could give her another name, but there it is. She is a great friend and confidante who lives very far away in another county, much closer to Town. But we IM all the time. As much as I love her, she has a lot of problems. Like Lydia, she's silly and doesn't know what's best for her. She always moves far too fast with men and then gets upset and wonders why they don't respect her. She also has a minor problem with drinking, and has several anxiety disorders. Most of this derives from, like Lydia, having a very silly mother. Her mom is a lovely person and very nice, but NOT a very good role model. I feel terrible about it, because *Lydia* is such a lovely wonderful person! She's nice and thoguhtful and always there for me.

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Bliss... Heartbreak... Anger... and Contentedness?

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:24:59 +0200

(~Before you read this, if you haven't, go back to the beginning and start from there! My Blog is a story, after all, and the beginning is usually the best place to start! I'll be posting an updated character key next time!!~)

Bliss... Heartbreak... Anger... and Contentedness?

I know that's quite a bit to take in, but it's true! I haven't written in forever because I've been far too occupied in nursing my broken heart.
I know that last post sounded oh so promising, and it was! It got even better than that if you can believe it! There was this one saturday night where *Orlando* was the only chaperone on duty and it was GLORIOUS. We tickled, joked, talked, made up excuses to touch eachother in some way or another... and it went on and on until one day, whatever had all happened was totally gone. I think that he got a harsh word from his employer, or his on-again-off-again never-present "it's complicated" critical girlfriend. Had I forgotten to mention her? Ah well. Anyway, he totally ignored/avoided me, and then it got worse: he didn't avoid me, he just didn't show me ANY emotion, good or bad. It was like I was just another face in the crowd.
Owch.
So I embarked on a particularly exhausting journey of misery, weeping every moment... I felt physically ill, like I'd been poisoned somehow. Strange, isn't it... I'd always ridiculed people who took things that seriously and got that upset over a silly little fling... but you never know what you're talking about until you do it yourself I guess, because it HURT!
I'm happy to say that the two most jaded and cynical of my friends, *Mary Crawford* and another friend who has yet to be introduced, *Charlotte Lucas* (actually come to think of it, I may have mentioned her) were the first to rise to the occasion. They let me whine to them endlessly, and even treated me to a doting movie night, which included chocolate and a Johnny Depp extravaganza. Love them ^.^
However, I wish I could say the same for some OTHER friends. Remember dear *Jane*?
Yeah. Didn't lift a finger. Which really annoys me, because I've ALWAYS been there for her! Even when she caused her problems herself, even when she whined on and on for months about not that big a deal, I always drop everything and run for her. And the one time I'm in a really bad place (for a few days I didn't eat. Not for control or anything, lol it wasn't anorexia, I just felt so emotionally sick, I needed a break from food) she barely even notices! She's so wrapped up in her boyfriend and the Cee Tee, that she just doesnt pay attention to anyone else's feelings.
Annoying.
Anyway, So now here I am. Summer holidays have started, and I'm working outside mainly. On this particular day, it's sunny and warm and breezy, and I'm listening to sweet Jack Johnson, and I'm content. To be honest, I have a very low tolerance for Misery, so I just made a decision to thro myelf into other things, and guess what: It worked! Sure I get a little sad when someone talks about him (which is close to never), but mostly I'm way too busy with theater and my job and my friends to care! It sort of makes me feel empowered and valuable, to think that I couldn't have a boyfriend anyway, I have to focus on my career on the stage! lol.
Well that was the update, man-wise. I've certainly got more to tell about everything else (*Lydia* is coming to visit in three days! That'll be interesting ha ha) but as of now I'm tired. So TTFN!!

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May 17, 2008 -- Star Cross'd Lovers

Sun, 18 May 2008 18:17:02 +0200

Oh, so, so much to tell!
I’m in love!
Really and truly! For the first time EVER!
It’s quite a long story, and it involves the introduction of a brand new character: *Orlando* (taken from As You Like It by Shakespeare).
*Orlando* and I have known eachother vaguely for a few years I suppose, but our story begins in late April, about three weeks ago. I had just returned from a two week trip to France and England with my singing group (A long series of stories that have missed their chance to feature in this blog, so let us move on) and I was staying with darling *Jane* for two or three days, since my mama was still out of the country. Anyway, she regularly goes to this place that is a hangout for most of her friends. It’s called The Cee Tee (long story) and she goes there on weekends and one day in the week when it’s open. Anyway, I got back the Friday night, utterly shattered because of jet lag, and also having not slept much for two weeks (too much having fun lol). So I stayed at her house, and the Saturday night, we went to Cee Tee. Now, previous to that night, I did not like The Cee Tee. I usually got bored, it wasn’t my group of friends, and I don’t know… it just wasn’t my thing. There was a counselor there (which is basically just a chaperone) named *Falstaff* who was a friend of my parents who I’d done theater with who was a good friend of mine and good fun to hang out with, but I still just didn’t have much to keep me there, nor did I see *Jane’s* attraction to it. Tonight, however, something was different. *Orlando* is a chaperone there. He’s 21 (I’m 17), so it isn’t the age difference that is worrying, it’s his position of authority. Anyway, we went in, and immediately the dynamic was different. I’d always been very attracted to him, but not with much invested in it: I knew he was older and had a girlfriend, he was just nice to look at. But tonight, I was very, very attracted to him! And it wasn’t just that. Suddenly there was a vibe – he was attracted to me, too, I could tell! And we talked naturally, and it was delightful! Inwardly, I scolded myself for allowing myself to like someone unattainable, but it was still so juicy and thrilling, that the next three nights, I let things develop.
No, no, no, nothing hanky panky, you dirty minded fules! I just mean that I was natural around him. I allowed myself to flirt gently and look at him a little longer than usual, until by three days later, I had developed a significant crush.
There are quite a few things that were extremely unusual about this.
First: I flirted. Normally, when I’m around a guy I really want to go out with, I freeze up! I get cynical, and make too many sarcastic jokes (probably in a subconscious effort to seem cool), and I just can’t relax around them! This happens specifically around guys my own age, which is why I’m not exactly a catch in my school. However, and I’ve noticed this specifically over the past year or so, with college guys, or guys I know I’m probably never going to see again, I’m natural, flirty, and very attractive. And it works! I don’t know why I’ve never tapped into this before. But anyway, there was something about *Orlando* that made me relax, and just be myself around!
Secondly: He liked ME! Ok, I don’t want to sound like the type of person who is taken in by flattery, because I am not, but this wasn’t just wishful thinking: there were definate signs! He was very friendly specifically toward me, and just little things, like the way he said things. It’s hard to explain. But there is this look, that even now, when he looks at me I melt, because he looks at me that’s like electric AND soft at the same time… it’s delicious. Anyway, That second night I was hanging out with him and some other people, we all had a debate about dating with age gaps (how appropriate). By the end, only *Orlando* and myself were fighting for the theory that maturity matters more than age. In the course of this very long group conversation, I learned from him that 1.) he liked tall women, and 2.) he might sub at school the next week.
SCREECH TO A HALT.
I tried to frantically block that from my mind and pretend it wouldn’t happen. As if the dynamic with him as a chaperone wasn’t bad enough, the last thing I needed was him to be a teacher.
Well, the rest is a very long story that I’m sure you don’t want to read all at once, so I’ll leave you with this cliffhanger, and promise you that since then, it’s gotten even more delicious, and much MUCH more complicated!

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March 18, 2008 - So Much For THAT.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:08:28 +0200

If you've been following my blog, HOORAY! If not, go to the archives and catch up, it's well worth it.

So, I last left you with a gruelling puzzle: what to call this possibly new love?

*Willoughby* is the answer, I think you will find. The 'date' if you could call it that in NYC was.... not a disaster exactly... just no Christmas Miracle, that's all I'm saying. First and foremost, he made ME pay. I mean I offered when he told me he was short on cash, but a gentleman would NEVER show up to a date empty handed! Secondly, he spent the 'date' discussing his rocky relationship history about how he cheated on his girlfriend and has been on and off with a mutual friend ever since. Then he asked me if I had any dramatic relationship stories. It was a snooze a minute for me, who gets bored with petty drama very quickly as I think you'll find in my previous blogs. Thirdly, I was vibing nothing off of him, although my dear *Lydia* told me later he was interested. So after the 'date' (which ended with a big hug) I went to a Cuban bar with my dad and my two sisters who live in the city, and had a grand old time (though I didn't drink, I'm underage), and then later went to the apartment we were staying at and watched the Oscars. Despite the forgettable date, an evening well spent.

Meanwhile, things have been on and off with him, and kind of weird. I was just gearing up to inwardly forgive him for the rubbish social skills when I find out he's started seeing someone else.

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February 21, 2008 - Perhaps Mr. Darcy Will Improve Upon Closer Acquaintance..?

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:07:34 +0200

I had a dream about *Darcy* last night, which I find infuriating! I was just getting over him! Two weekends ago I met a guy. But what to call him! Problem is, the original *Darcy* is coming off more like *Benedick* from Much Ado! He's arrogant, and makes biting jokes in place of wit. Ah well, we'll leave it as it is for now. Anyway, this new guy is a friend of my dear *Lydia*, and I met him when I went to visit her. He's got dark hair and noble bone structure, and blue eyes. When I went to visit her, she'd handpicked two of her male friends to come along with us to the movies, in the hopes I would like one of them. One was way too skeevy, and the other was incomparably dull. The only other guy there, came with another girl, and of course he was the one I clicked with. We spent the whole night chatting (well not through the movie, obviously.) After the movie, we all went to an Irish pub (the only place open at 11 pm) and he was across the extremely cramped corner table from me but we still managed to chat. Eventually, he left his seat and came round to right where I was sitting and sort of poked his head through the little divider, so that he was right next to me. Then as we were strolling around (bloody freezing, I might add) we just walked next to each other and talked the whole time, even though we were in a group of six. Since then we've been facebooking, and more recently texting. I'm going up to NYC this coming week to look at colleges, but I'll only be in the city for one night. He wants to meet up, and I do to, but I also want to see dear *Lydia*. She's agreed to come along with us, and is bringing her friend, the one who originally brought him along. I think she likes him, which is why I never made a move. It'll be harder now, especially since its a small group and we will no doubt be under scrutiny... As for a name, please submit requests! He's funny and has a positive outlook, he likes metal and techno, he's a VERY smooth talker... I was thinking *BINGLEY* or *WILLOUGHBY*. Yes I know he's a lying scoundrel, but BEFORE that, he was quite good company.

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February 12, 2008 - Insufferable Woman! (ie. Evil Skank)

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:06:47 +0200

So. I realize I've not updated you much lately, but actually a lot has happened, mainly to do with the fiendish *Lucy Steele*! Unfortunately I begin with a tragedy. Early in the year I lost a very wonderful companion. I'll leave him unnamed, as it feels like disrespect to give his name away. Only 17, he died in an accident. This was the third student death in 11 months -- the other two were suicides.

I don't want to dwell on it, because this is not meant to paint a miserable picture, but to keep things light. I will say though that he is sorely missed.

Anyway, things with *Lucy* have been VERY rocky. She's finally figured out how I dislike her and she sees me as a threat, so of course she's put up her battlements and is trying to conjure up an army. She began with *Edward*, her boyfriend. At play rehearsal (I'm an avid actress, and she insists on being a Stage Manager -- just so she can boss people about, no doubt -- so I had to see her and *Edward* almost every night) things were tense anyway, but suddenly, he wasn't speaking to me. Wary that she may have been spewing some insipid lies about me, I sent him a Facebook message asking if he was angry with me. He replied with a very long lecture about how he was "disappointed about the way I'd been treating *Lucy*". Treating her? I'd done nothing to her! So, befuddled, I replied in my own defense, but I made a sincere effort to make it clear that I didn't blame him or her. Thus began a series of tumultuous correspondances, mainly to do with him wanting to know what she'd done to make me so upset. Hah. Where do I begin? See my character list for a brief background. I refused to tell him, however, because the bonds of sisterhood, despite some women being truly insufferable, dictated that ratting out a woman behind her back to her boyfriend was wrong. This just angered him, and he continued to lecture me that I was being a terrible friend for just dropping her like that (which might I add SHE actually did to ME.. I just didn't complain). Finally I got thoroughly irritated with him, and didn't reply to him. He was supposed to be my friend, why was he acting so bitchy? By the way, at this point he actually seemed really upset with me. Finally, after refusing to answer some of the questions I shot back at him (ie. concerning the fact that he dropped all his friends when he and *Lucy* began dating), he claimed "he was tired of the whole thing". I agreed, and said it was a silly fight anyway, and asked if we were still friends. There was a long pause. Meanwhile, I went to NYC for a weekend to record something with a cast I was with a couple summers previous (don't get excited, it was purely archival), and so I'd pretty much forgotten about it for a few days, as I was so caught up in my favorite city -- the actor's playground! Anyway, this is roughly a week after the death of my friend, and we were all a bit shaken up I suppose. So one night in the city, I logged onto the computer and there was a facebook message from her, with the subject: "My Last Thoughts to You...". As if that wasnt enough to chill me, the message was: "I hope you fucking die." I understand it could be hard to feel the fright of that, but in this particular instance, it made my throat run dry, for one because it was a deathwish, and for another because it said "My last thoughts to you" which sounded like a suicide note. I panicked and called a friend back home, and she assured me everything was fine, but I didn't sleep well that night. Anyway, I've been blabbing for a long time, but it should suffice to say, that after that, *Edward* became furious with me -- he told me he'd "heard" that I was spewing bad things about him to the vile *Lucy*-- total rubbish of course. But I decided to let him go at that point. I knew he wouldn't demote *Lucy* from her pedestal, and I didn't want to get any more involved. So the next thing I hear, the two are in an "open relationship" -- which is just code for her moving onto another guy (Which she already had) and still keeping poor *Edward* under her thumb. I was happy, because it meant I didn't have to feel I knew something he didn't. He came down for a weekend, and called me. We went out for a lovely coffee and chatted for ages, but I didn't push the subject or say "I told you so". Two days ago, they "mutually" broke up -- according to HER, that is. His heart is crushed into a billion little pieces and I have to nurse him back of course. I'd do it for any friend, and even though he's said thank you, he never once apologized for the way he so cruelly mistreated me! Do you think when he's over it a little he will?

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January 01, 2008 - WHO IS WHO

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:05:34 +0200

Hello! I figure, since my life is oh so fascinating, I should give you lovely readers a key, so that you know who is who in these pages.

ROSE. That's me! I'm interested in the performing arts, and I adore Jane Austen! She is my muse, which is why most of these people's pseudonyms come from her books. Some will have to come from others because of character likeness and my fondness of some other books but mainly they will derive from the masterful Miss Austen's incredible creations. I wish I could call myself Miss Elizabeth Bennett, but I'm nowhere near wise or well-tempered as her. I'm much more like Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. All the wit and joyfulness, but less of the sense. Or perhaps Miss Mabel from An Ideal Husband. Anyway, you will get to know me well enough by reading my entries, so on with the next person!

*MR. DARCY* my One Tru Luv (for the moment, anyway ;-D). What can I say about him? He's a comedian and an athlete, and very confident and well liked. Think brown eyes. Think... Italian looking, sort of. Unfortunately, he's not like Mr. Darcy at all, he's actually very warm! But just as no one can resist the real Mr. Darcy, I can't resist mine!

*EDWARD FERRARS* the aforementioned TOO GOOD boyfriend. He is very sensible and friendly, and seems quiet, but isn't when you know him well. *Lucy* was his first girlfriend and they've been dating for about two or three years (thanks to my introduction, STUPID Rrrose!) and only recently has he been slowly comprehending the situation he's in. *Lucy* kept him on a violently short leash, and wouldn't let him talk to his friends (including me) male or female, and wouldn't even let him be in a room alone with anyone of the opposite sex. Now he is older than her, and has left school. So the second he's gone away, being devoted to her, she starts being all over some younger guy! Not "cheating" per se, but still totally inappropriate behavior, like cuddling and tickling and telling him she loves him. Let's just call this young guy *ROBERT*.

*JANE BENNETT* my very best friend. At least one of them . She's a very loving human being. She's a year younger than me, so she has yet to confront some of the evils I have (see *Lucy* above) but she's very clever. She's also the most loyal friend anyone could ask for. If I need her, she is almost always there for me. Once I was trapped on an evening out with the insufferable woman mentioned above and a gentleman who's attention to me was quite profuse, and I'm sorry to say unwanted. So when they were getting some food, I sneaked off to a payphone and called her. She lived far away from where we were, but I told her about the situation and she traveled all the way to rescue me! Like Jane, she's eager to think well of everyone, which speaks of her merit and her youth. LOVE HER! Her new boyfriend by the way will be called *Charles*.

*KITTY BENNETT* another very good friend of mine. Unlike Lydia, the youngest Bennett sister, she is not so rediculous and unthinking. But like Kitty, she still does not always think about consequences. She also is a very loving person, but she's tough and she doesn't take any crap from anyone. It used to be that despite past failures, she would throw herself into relationships with less than honest men, before she knew their characters. Let's just say she's met a few Willoughbys. It seems though that she's been bitten enough by those dogs and she's far more sensible. She doesn't like her family or home very much, not that they are truly bad, they just don;t agree on a lot of things.She can't wait to leave the town and see the world. I wanted to name her *Mary Crawford* but that would be far too biting and viscious for *Kitty*.

*MARY CRAWFORD* I knwo I said before that she was "biting and viscious", but I don't mean it the way you might think. This girl is not biting nor viscious. *Mary* and I used to be best friends. she had some drama revolving a new relationship with a Wickham who had not been unmasked yet. During their relationship, she slipped more and more out of the public eye, getting involved in some less than ladylike activity, such as substance abuse and the like, and sort of isolated herself until the only person she had was that Wickham. Unfortunately, he left school, and soon after, left her for another woman. She needed help, so I went right back to being her friend, because honestly, she was genuinely sorry for what had happened and she really needed someone. Now she's ok, and we're good friends, but she's skittish and jaded, and feels sort of weary from this year's excursions with the awful rake of an ex-boyfriend. However, she's very smart and kind and witty and funny and goofy, and a very good friend. She's worried that since she made the mistake of drifting away, the friends she really cares about wont accept her. But things are healing, and we all still love her dearly.

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January 01, 2008 - Happy Hols!

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:49:33 +0200

So, the holiday season is over at long last! Not that I didn't enjoy it, but I was so so eager for this awful year to end! I had three people close to me die, and in between I just had dull, bleak, miserable occurances a little too often for my liking. A new year, a new start. I just love new starts, dont you? And you've got to take them as often as you can get them, especially when you live in such a small community as I do where everyone has a fixed opinion about everyone else. I wont deny it, but when I was little, i was a total geek. I wasnt friendless or bullied or anything like that but I certainly wasn't popular. Well I was an only child whose parents had a messy divource with aqn englishwoman for a mother with whom i lived with, of COURSE i was a little socially inept! Ok, that was a joke about dear *Mama*, of course I am very proud of my British heritage. In fact I'm so proud of it that I often get the mick taken out of me by feindish immature fules, the boys in my grade who have no sense of maturity whatsoever about it. But anyway, I am getting off topic. My point: In a town or school like this, you get set in a mold early on and to break that mold is harder than climbing mount everest. But recentlyyy I've really grown up a lot in the last year or two, but it's so so hard! I'm my regular amazing (thank you very much) self with my mum, or one on one with my really good friends, but when I get to school I cant help but slip into that dreadful mold! I suppose its my incredible actors malleability, ay? . But a new year a new chance to do it. In these past few days I've finally seen through all the crap between me and being moldness, all the silly fear, and I see how I could just forget about it and do what I want to do when I want to do it and not think about how other people will take it. So I'm gonna cut my hair short! May I make a small plug for an amazing youtube video you should all look up: type in "Blue Hair" or "Courtney Wolfson" and it should come right up. It was one of my inspirations. So I will have short hair by my next entry, maybe I'll feel less inhibited.

Rooooose

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December 8, 2007 - Less Than Amicable

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:43:05 +0200

Hello, well here is my first journal entry! I wish I could begin on a cheery note, but my news today is slightly less than amicable. I've just returned from a school function which, for reasons of privacy I wont reveal, but it was a fundraiser of sorts. Delighted at the chance to see *Mr Darcy* (I should point out at this that I am changing people's names to keep their identity, and for lack of creativity, most of them will be inspired from my favorite books), I gussied up my best. I wore my contacts, actually put on a small amount of eye shadow, styled my hair (half up with a hairband -- it looked cute!), and wore an olive mini with thick leggings and a pink long sleeved v-neck (unfortunately Pink and Green were the closest I could get to Christmas colors due to my avoidance of red because of my red hair). So, setting forth with the sole object in mind of wooing my beau, I went into the school and took my station with two other girls. As we were working, he passed us two or three times, each time with a gaggle of his female friends. He's not a player at all, he's just very confidant and likeable, and has severall friends. Many of those are girls, but none of them want him in any other way than a friend. At least the ones I know. So as my spirit was being increasingly and slowly dampered by his not even saying hello to me and his already occipied slot of female companionship, I continued working and tried not to concentrate on it. But the ball really dropped when he walked by hand in hand with someone. My younger cousin, no less! Honestly! How's that for adding insult to injury? To be fair, he doesn't know how I feel about him, and we're not really friends, more acquaintances and classmates. But still! It aches. I'm new to the flirting thing, too, because honestly, i'm just getting out of an emotional ice age where no one was good enough and I couldn't bring myself to give anyone a chance. But now I cant help but like *Darcy*. I'm a little emotionally exhausted now, So I'm going to cheer myself up with Ab Fab and chocolate.
Adieu, Rose

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